Perfectly
by thereviewergirl
Summary: No one noticed that I’m gone now. Why would they? I’m not the one who got married. I’m just the one who watched the love of my life get married. AU. OneShot. KaoruKenshin.


Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. The only ones I own are Akamu, Nalani, and Old Kapena.

Perfectly

I walk down the isle, tears welling up my eyes. I can hear the wedding march playing. I look up and see you near the altar. Gosh, you're so handsome, smiling like that. I can't believe that after all we've been through, the moment has finally come. We've been friends since we were 6 years old. How old are we now? Oh yeah. 26. I can't believe it. We've been friends for 20 years now. 2 decades. I glance at the people in the pews and see their smiling faces. I know how happy they are. How can they not be when Himura Kenshin is finally marrying his beloved? How can they not be happy to witness Kenshin start his happily ever after? I'm almost near the altar. I can feel my palms start to sweat. Here goes nothing.

Here I am now, right in front of you. I smile at you and you smile and nod at me. You're so happy. You look like a little boy who finally got what he wanted from Santa this Christmas. I disentangle my hands and I hug you, tight. Real tight. I can feel your heart beating fast. It's the same as mine. Our heart beats rapidly together. You put your arms around me and crush me to you. I can now feel tears streaming down my face. I just can't control my emotions. I can't control my heart. I love you too much, Kenshin.

"Kao…" I hear your voice whisper in my right ear. Chills run down my spine as I feel your hot breath on my neck. "Thanks for everything… I don't know what I'd do without you… You're the bestest friend anyone can ever have. I'm so lucky to have you as mine…" I can't help it as you say those words. I bring my lips to your left ear.

"I love you, Kenshin." was all I said as I stepped back and went to my place at the other side of the church as the maid of honor. I look at you and see your shocked expression staring at me. I see you shake your head then smile. I knew your feelings won't change even if I tell you how I really feel. I see your smile grow wider. I look to where your eyes are directed and there I see her. She's so beautiful. She's smart and talented. She's graceful and charming. She's the daughter of a wealthy businessman and she's filthy rich. Yet, she's very humble and outgoing. She has everything a man wants in a woman. She's perfect. You're perfect. It's natural that the two of you are perfect together. I see her make her way down the isle. It's such a dramatic entrance. Everyone was 'ooohing', 'aaaahing', and 'aaawwing'. I just kept quiet and tried my best to smile. Come on, Kaoru! You can do this! You're the strongest woman in the face of the planet! I'd always think that to myself and I'd always find myself feeling better. It's not working now. I can't do anything. I'm numb. I don't know how long I've been staring off into space and drowning in my own thoughts but I found myself awakened to reality when I heard your voice.

"I do." That's it. It's over now. You are now Himura Kenshin, the husband of Yushikiro Tomoe, or should I say Himura Tomoe? I can hear applause from the crowd. I can see you two smiling up there in front of the altar.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride." As I hear those words, I turn away. I can't look at you anymore. I can't look at you with her. I know you're happy. I should be happy for you. I hear the crowds cheer and I wonder what else besides the fact that you're married is amusing them. I turn to look at the two of you. Now I see why they're having fun watching the two of you. The two of you are glowing. You're twirling her around in the air without breaking your kiss. How sweet. Everyone starts coming up to the two of you. I can't see you with those people all crowding around the two of you. I look down at my bouquet that I held in my hands. I drop it on the marbled floor of the church. I made my way towards the doors of the church. No one noticed me. Why would they? I'm not the one who got married. I spared another glance at you and found you smiling and talking to the people while occasionally stealing kisses from your wife. I walk away. I'm now standing outside the church. I wait for a cab to pass by. After a few minutes of waiting, one finally stopped in front of me. I went in and told the driver to take me to the airport. No one noticed that I'm gone now. Why would they? I'm not the one who got married. I'm just the one who watched the love of my life get married.

* * *

It's been years since I've last seen you. There was never a day wherein I didn't think about you. You're always on my mind. I can't believe how stupid I was not to notice it. You loved me all along, didn't you? You told me you loved me the day you left. I wish you would've told me sooner. Things would've been different. I sit up on my bed and look out the window. Tomoe's not here again. She's always away, always at business trips, or visiting her parents or friends, or attending some conference somewhere. She's always not home. I guess this house that we live in can't actually be called a home now, can it? It's just a place where my wife and I sometimes, I repeat, sometimes, sleep and eat. I know that I'm always at work too but she's the one who's out more. Sometimes I think that maybe things aren't working out. Maybe we aren't really meant to be together. I can't help but think that I've made a mistake. I can't think that now, can I? That would make me a bad husband, right? Doubting my feelings would make me a bad husband, especially the part wherein I always think about a certain raven-haired, blue-eyed best friend of mine. I just can't help but think of you everyday. I love Tomoe. I know I do. She's perfect. She's beautiful and kindhearted. She's loving and fun to be with. She's everything any man could ever wish for and more. She's perfect. I'm not being egoistic but I consider myself perfect too. I mean, I graduated at the top of my class when I was in college. I own one of the most prestigious companies in all of Japan. I can say that I'm pretty attractive remembering the fan club I once had in my college years. I can't help but think if I still have one now? Hmmm… So I guess I could say I'm perfect. My wife is perfect. Her husband is perfect. Nothing should be wrong, right? If she's perfect and I'm perfect then it would mean that we're perfect together… Right?

I stand up and stretch my arms and legs. I make my way towards the bathroom to get ready for the day. This day won't be different from the other ones. I'd enter the building and do work. I'd come back home and wait for my wife's calls if she'll be home or not. I eat dinner, with or without my wife. I go over some papers before getting ready for bed. I watch TV before I turn off the lights and sleep. That has been my routine for 3 years now. I'm going to turn 30 in a couple of months yet I feel as though something is still missing. I enter my shower and I feel the cold water touch my skin. I remember your hatred for cold baths in the morning. You'd always whack me with your kendo stick whenever I would dunk you in your bathtub while you're still sleeping. I'd always laugh at your angry face whenever you resurface wide and awake in the water. I chuckle as I finish my morning shower. I make my way down the stairs towards the kitchen. I pass by the living room and see bags by the door. Tomoe must've arrived. I enter the kitchen and see Tomoe preparing breakfast. She looks at me and smiles. I smile back.

"How was your flight? How are Enishi and Liina doing?" She smiles at me and makes her way towards me. She wraps her arms around my waist and smiles up at me.

"My flight was uneventful. I slept most of the time. Enishi and Liina are doing great. Actually, they're inviting us to come with them to visit and enjoy the beaches of Hawaii in 2 weeks. What do you say?" Finally, time to spend with my wife. I nod and kiss her neck affectionately. She giggles and pushes me away. She's been real giddy lately. I know it's not because of me for she hasn't been spending time with me. As I eat the breakfast she made for me, I can't help but think about our relationship, about our marriage. I look at Tomoe and find her eating her food and smiling like a love-sick teenager.

"Hey, Tomoe, sweetie, I'll be going now. Work's waiting and I don't think Sano would want to take over for the day. I'm sorry if we can't spend the day together." I get up, walk to her and kneel down beside her chair. She's quiet. She just nods. I take her hand and kiss it. I stand up and bury my face in her neck. I kiss it and leave a trail of butterfly kisses on her shoulder. Then I stop. There, on her right shoulder, is a red spot. I know it's not a mosquito bite. I haven't been with her for a straight week so I know that that mark couldn't have been made by me. It's too fresh. It looks like it's been there for 2 days or less.

"Kenshin? Don't you have to go, baby?" She notices my silence. I nod and give her a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Bye, Tomoe." And I made my way out the door.

* * *

"Miss Kaoru, can you please sign my surfboard over here?" a boy in his late teens asks me. I smile at him and sign his surfboard. It's been 3 years since I worked here in Hawaii. I design and make surfboards. It's really fun and I get to use the skills I learned in my college years. I graduated with a degree in Fine Arts. My shop is by the beach so many people actually come over. I'm not being boastful but I'm a pretty popular surfboard maker here in Lahaina, Maui.

"Miss Kaoru? I would like a surfboard please. I want a very classy one for my wife. I want it to be in the colors red, black, and white. I want it elegant. Is it possible for me to have it by next week? Oh and by the way Miss Kaoru… Can you also sign your autograph at the back of the board?" I looked at my customer and found Akamu. He's the first person to befriend me when I first came here to Lahaina. He took care of my living arrangements and everything I needed. He learned of my talent in the arts when I once made and designed a surfboard for him on his birthday. It was a month after I moved here. He told me that I could make a living by making surfboards. Now here I am… the most popular surfboard maker in the whole of Maui. I look at Akamu and cluck my tongue at him.

"You should stop kidding around with my business, Akamu. Or is it really that you're gonna ask me to make a special surfboard for a special someone? Huh?" I tease him as he looks around the room. I giggle as I see him blush. He pouts and makes himself comfortable on the couch I have for the guests.

"You know, Akamu. Nalani isn't going to wait forever for you." Nalani is the girl that captured Akamu's heart. They've known each other since they were little kids. They have been neighbors since they were born. They're inseperable. But they're both too shy to tell each other what they really feel. Stupid love… I've always seen you and me in Akamu and Nalani. But I know that our situation, yours and mine's, is way different. Nalani and Akamu are made for each other. Even their names agree. Nalani means heaven while Akamu means earth. Heaven and Earth. They're really meant to be. I try my best not to think about you. You're too much for my heart and my mind to handle. Akamu and Nalani's relationship serves as a distraction for me. At least I don't think of you all the time. I only think of you at night. Ugh. I'm pathetic. You hurt me by marrying Tomoe and here I am, still admittedly in love with you. I have to move on. I'm trying. I swear I'm trying but it's really hard. I love you too much. I love you too much to tell you earlier that I love you. If I told you then maybe you would've pitied me and actually went out with me. You would've been unhappy since you wouldn't have ended up with Tomoe, your beloved. I shake my head and I tap my cheeks. I look at Akamu and I see his eyes widen as he looks at the glass door. I follow his eyes and I see the reason of his surprise. There, outside at my doorstep, is the beautiful and tanned Nalani.

"Kao-kala!" There she goes. That's Nalani alright. She's the only person who calls me Kao-kala. She says it means Kao princess. For the first 5 months of my stay in Lahaina, I kept on telling her to stop calling me that because it awfully sounds like koala. But she still calls me that and I guess I just gave up and let her and only her call me Kao-kala. She smiles at me and blushes as she sees Akamu sitting on the couch. She makes her way towards him and sits down beside him. He looks at her and gives her their so-called "friendly greeting kiss" on the lips. I guess their "friendly greeting kiss" on the lips is one factor that put romance in their friendship.

"Guess what I've heard! I found out from Old Kapena, the fish vendor that a famous Japanese businessman is here in Lahaina with his wife and his brother-in-law and his in-law's girlfriend! They arrived 3 days ago and from what I've heard, the businessman is quite a catch. They say that he's really nice and polite and absolutely handsome!" Nalani says with stars in her eyes. I see that Akamu looks like he's ready to kill that Japanese businessman.

"Relax, Akamu. The guy has a wife so your girl here ain't gonna be messing with him. Chill." I tease them. Their blushes are causing the temperature in my store to rise. Nalani gets up and goes up to me and pinches my cheeks.

"Of course I wouldn't be messing with that Jap dude! Oh Kao-kala! You're sooooo cute! I think you should stop with the teasing and get on with your work!" Clearly, she's pissed. But I know that she's not mad. That girl has a soft heart. She walks over to Akamu and offers her hand.

"Akamu, let's go surf. Let's leave Miss Surfboard Maker here to think about her silly actions." She looks me in the eye and winks. I wave at them as they leave my store. Ha! That tricky Nalani! She just wanted to have Akamu all to herself. What a really creative way of getting some privacy with Akamu, making me the bad guy. I sigh and hope that they actually confess now. I lay my head on the table. I close my eyes and suddenly I found myself in dreamland.

* * *

"Kenshin! If this is how it's going to be for us then we'd better just finish this! You're acting so childish! I can't believe how stubborn you can be!" Tomoe's yelling at me and I don't care. I know where this conversation is going to lead. This will lead us to getting a divorce and I couldn't be happier. I found out about her affair with Kiyosato Akira. He's the co-owner of Tomoe's business. They own a chain of restaurants all over Tokyo. I started watching out for suspicious events and actions when I found Tomoe's hickey 2 weeks ago. She's now telling me that I'm being immature thinking that she and her partner in business is having an affair. But I know that it's true. I know that they really do have an affair and I have evidence. I had someone follow Tomoe and see who she's with and what she's doing. I received pictures of her and Akira in between the sheets. It was not only one picture and one room. I received a picture of them doing it on our bed. How stupid I was for marrying this woman! I now know that I really did make a mistake in marrying her.

"Then let's end this! Tomoe! It's not my fault that this marriage isn't working out. You're the one who's having an affair not me!" I shout back. She looks like a blown up tomato. How un-Tomoe of her. She slaps me. I think of you and think of how you'd never ever hurt me. You wouldn't even hurt me even if I hurt you. I really made a mistake in marrying this woman.

"How dare you! How dare you accuse me of loving someone else when I can't even feel the so-called love you have for me?! Kenshin! How can you think it unfair that I'm in love with Akira when you are in love with a blue eyed girl who left you on your wedding day?! Admit it, Kenshin. You never loved me. It has always been Kaoru. You were just too blind before to notice that she loves you and you love her. Face it, Kenshin. I'm not the one to blame. I loved you! I really did! But damn it! I can feel that it's Kamiya who's in your heart. It's not me you dream about. It's not me you think about everyday! You love Kaoru before and you love her 'til now. Now, I love Akira. I admit I love him. I'm tired of trying my best to win your heart, Kenshin. I know that it's been with Kaoru all these years. I just thought that time might get you to forget about her and love me, as in truly love me. What you had for me was infatuation, care, and dare I say it… Brotherly, sisterly love!" Now that was something I did not expect. Tomoe just told the truth, the whole truth. She spoke out loud the real reason as to why our marriage isn't working out. I look at her and see her tear-streaked face. I feel so guilty. I guess I feel this way because what she said made me realize that the 3 years that we've been together is actually just a waste. She tried. I didn't. I guess deep in my heart I knew all along that I love you. I just refused to accept the idea because I thought that you just saw me as a brother. I was afraid of rejection. It was too late when I found out that you love me, as in really love me. I pull Tomoe towards my body and I engulf her body in a tight hug.

"Thank you. Somehow you made it easier for me… I… I really don't know what to say, Tomoe… I guess it's because you're right. I'm really sorry… I'm sorry for wasting 3 years of your life. I… You say it… At least if you say it, it would make me feel less guilty." I kiss her cheeks as I wait for her to say the words that will end our 3 year marriage.

"I want a divorce, Himura Kenshin." was all she said. This is it. I nod my head and kiss her lips one last time. I walk out of the door. I guess I'll visit the beach too cool my mind.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of the door opening. I keep my eyes closed. I hear footsteps come closer to where I was sitting with my head laid on the table. I open my eyes and look up.

"Kaoru?" and then time stops.

* * *

I have been walking around Lahaina for a few hours now. I spot this surfboard shop and it piques my interest. I enter the shop and see a black haired girl with her head laid on the table. The room is full of surfboards and the designs are great. I look at the designs carefully and I can't help but find the style very familiar. The designs have a particular style that clearly shows that all the boards are made by the same person. I look around as one board caught my eye. The board was white. In the middle of the board is a boy with red hair holding hands with a girl with black hair in a high ponytail. The characters had no faces. The boy and the girl are surrounded by sakura petals. The picture on the board reminds me of me and you. Goodness, Kaoru. Even a surfboard is telling me that maybe it's you and me who're meant to be.

I approach the sleeping girl and I just stand there. I stare at her head, then at her exposed neck, then her arms. She's too white to be Hawaiian. Maybe she doesn't get out much. Or maybe she's a foreigner. I watch as the girl started to show signs of being awake. She lifts her head and looks at me. Surprise.

"Kaoru?" I ask her. This girl in front of me has to be you. The same hair, the same face, and the same eyes. Kaoru… It's you!

"Kenshin?" You ask me hesitantly. I nod and pull you up from your chair. I push your bangs away from you face and I see that it's really you. Tears well up my eyes and I smile. I can't believe that after 3 years, 3 long years, I am actually seeing you again. You look like you're seeing a ghost. You look at me and tears start running down your face. I put my arms around you and give you the tightest hug that I could've ever given anyone. I don't want to let you go. I made a mistake before. I let you go. I won't make a mistake now. I won't.

* * *

There you are. The man I love. There you are, the man I love, standing in front of me.

"Kenshin?" I ask you. This must be a dream! This can't be happening. This must be another one of my fantasies. I feel myself being pulled up. You look as though your life has just been saved. Tears are welling up in your eyes. You push my bangs away from my face. Your hands are so warm. I can't help but lean to your touch. This must be real. You put your arms around me and you hug me tightly. I think this hug is tighter than the one I gave you before I left. I feel tears running down my face. I pull away and look at you. You look determined.

"Kenshin? Is it really you? What are you doing here?" I ask you. You look at me so intently that I can't help but get goose bumps. You bring your one arm around my waist. Your free hand went to cup my cheek. You pull my body against yours and I can feel your heartbeat once again. It's beating so fast.

"Kaoru… I missed you… I'm sorry." You say as you caress my cheek and look me in the eye. Tears are now running down your face too. You bring your face so close to mine and I can feel your breath on my lips.

"Ken-Kensh-Kenshin…" I stutter. I close my eyes. I feel that you closed your eyes too. We touch our foreheads together. I feel our breaths mingling. I bite my lips when suddenly I find yours pressed to mine. I can't help it. I kiss you back. You deepen the kiss by bringing your tongue into my mouth. The kiss is turning passionate. Kenshin, you're kissing me. And I don't know why. Tomoe. I open my eyes and suddenly pull away from you. It took all my willpower to pull away from you. But I have to. You're not mine. You're Tomoe's.

"Kenshin… This is wrong… Tomoe…" I start to back away and I feel my broken heart breaking again. Is that even possible? For a broken heart to break once again? This is impossible. Me and you. You're married. And you love her.

* * *

"And I are over." I finish for you. You look beautiful, Kaoru. You really do. Even with your surprised expression you still look breath-taking.

"Wha-what? Why?" You ask me. I pull back into my arms and you don't resist. I smile at you.

"Because we both realized that we're not meant to be." I answer you.

"I don't get it… You love her…" You tell me with a perplexed face.

"As a sister. I just realized it awhile ago. Tomoe's having an affair with someone. I got mad because I felt like a fool. She's having an affair while I stayed loyal to her. I told her what I felt and she said some things that made me realize that I'm the one to blame. Tomoe told me the truth." I explain as I caress your cheek. You look like an angel in distress.

"Kenshin… Tomoe's perfect… You're perfect… The two of you are perfect for each other… What's wrong?" That's what I thought too, I wanted to tell you.

"Kao… I fell in love with the idea of being in love with a perfect person." You look cute when your confused.

"Never mind… Look… Kao… It's just that… All this time… Tomoe was putting a lot of effort into making our marriage work… I thought her distancing her self from me and her affair was the cause of our problems… When she said her side… I realized that it's me who's to blame… All the time I've been married to her I've been thinking about another woman. I dream about another girl. I then realized that yes… I don't love Tomoe like that. It was just infatuation and brotherly, sisterly love. I then realized that all these years I've been in love with one person. I've been in love with that girl since way back when. I just didn't realize it 'til awhile ago." I did not expect the slap you gave me.

* * *

"How dare you?! So now are you trying to say you love me? Is that it? You found out that your wife is having an affair so now I'm the rebound?!" I cannot believe that you came up with all those shit! How am I supposed to believe you? You married her! You told me day after day 5 years ago that she's the one! How am I supposed to believe that you actually love me? I look at you and I saw tears once again run down your face.

"Kaoru… If you don't believe me then ask Tomoe! You're such a stubborn woman! I've been blind all these years, I admit! I only realized you loved me when you told me on my wedding day! Why on my wedding day, Kao? You could've told me sooner! Things would've been different! 3 years wouldn't have gone to waste!" You defend yourself with those words.

"I told you on your wedding day because that was my last chance to tell you how I feel. If I told you sooner then you probably would've pitied me and went out with me just because you're too nice to me to leave me heartbroken. You wouldn't have ended up with Tomoe, your beloved, and you wouldn't have been happy! Now tell me… If I told you sooner, would things have turned out differently?" I ask you. You take my right hand and cage it in your big ones.

"I was afraid of rejection." You say calmly. "I always thought you saw me as an older brother. You never did give any signals that you love me as something more. I also saw how Aoshi and you are getting pretty close years ago. I thought that maybe you were interested in him. So I kept my feelings in check and I decided that I want you happy with whoever you want to be so I distanced myself and started seeing Tomoe. It was only on my wedding day that I found out that you love me… But then I was convinced that I actually love Tomoe. What Tomoe told me awhile ago certainly made me realize that I never did love her as I love you." My heart stops. Everything around me suddenly stops. Father Time? Did you press the pause button? Time stopped. You said the words that I never thought you'd say. I love you. Love, not loved. Kenshin… Silence is all that we're hearing.

"I love you." I find that it's me whose voice broke the silence and made time move again. You smile and kiss my lips. I bring my arms around your neck. I don't know if I should be doing this. I don't know if you're actually telling the truth but, gosh, this feels just so right. The way our bodies and our lips meld together is just perfect. It's like kami-sama designed us for each other. The arms around my waist tighten their hold on me.

"I don't know what's gonna happen now, Kenshin… Let's just take this step by step… This is too much for one day… I wa" you cut off what I was supposed to say by pressing your lips against mine once again. I really don't know what's going to happen now… But this looks like a nice start.

* * *

I move Kaoru's hair away from the back of her neck as we sit on her bed inside her house in Lahaina. I feel like wherever I am, as long as I'm with Kaoru, I'm home. I kiss the back of her neck and I feel her shiver. She brings her hands to hold my head in place as I continue my feast. She moans and I can't help but love the sound. I stop my kissing session and put my chin on her right shoulder.

"Kaoru?"

"Hmmm?"

"Isn't it strange that we might not be perfect but… we're perfect for each other? I know it's really cheesy but listen… I always thought that if I married the perfect woman then life would be perfect. We would be perfect together because I'm perfect and she's perfect… But then… We're like a puzzle… Doesn't matter if you're a perfect square or a trapezoid with an extra side… You just need to find the other piece that would make you whole." I explain. At 30, I didn't expect butterflies in my stomach but well, now I can feel them all fluttering there.

"Yes, Kenshin… We fit each other… Perfectly."

* * *

The End.

* * *

Author's Notes:

Hi. I got so frustrated with my Ranma ½ fanfic, Endless, A Silent Whisper, because I'm having a hard time writing Chapter 3. I decided that maybe I should try another anime and see if maybe I just need a break from EASW. I made this a one-shot because 1, I am not a writer like I've said before, and 2, this is just to let out my pent up frustration over Chapter 3 of EASW. I'm sorry for any grammatical errors and I'm sorry if the story was just plain boring or whatever. I'm not a writer. I'm called thereviewergirl because I only read and review fanfics… I don't actually write… So I'm sorry if this one is really pointless and stupid…

I'd also like to take this time to thank those who enjoyed this one-shot, if there are any… :p

-TheReviewerGirl


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